Chinese gluttony

House parties are the key success to popularity in this life. Rules that Apply :

To being a good party host:

• Do make sure you make a punch but do not add the contents of your parents cuboard to it.


• Include snacks and petite four. Share food that other guests have brought around.


• Do not retreat to the kitchen and stuff fistfulls of dumplings and spring rolls and lock youself in the kitchen in a bid of greediness.


• Do not invite wife beaters who will cause a scene. You might be tempted to eat to calm down.


• Never order a cab to an after party but if you do: hide in the house and turn out all the lights. ( If your parents arrive back early from their evening tell them to pipe down.)


• Conceal all the evidence( cigarette butts, alcohol, stap wounds) so that your parents never find out!


• Do not bring out crotchless knickers to guests unless you are extremely drunk.


• Always dress up! Burlesque will always be appealing to the male guest.