Saturday 9 January 2010
"I met Paul Mcartney once topless"
One day during a summer Diana spent with her friend Claudia in Bixely,she decided that it would be a fabulous idea to walk through the woods topless as there seemed to be hardly any walkers. It seemed like the wisest idea yet. The girls had a camera and that only meant one thing: A photoshoot. Naturelly adam and eve themed. Diana grabbed the nearest leaves and placed them stratigically over her nips and stripped down to her bikini briefs. The girls found a spot by the mud and decided that using trees to cover those naughty areas would be classey. Diana posed like a greek statue and stood in the mud pool with such elegence that she should have won an award.
Suddenly they heard a mighty russle and the sound of a dog and owner that could only be a walker. Very likely :Paul Mcartney (as it was his land). ' Uhoh' Diana yelped and ran to the nearest silver birch tree to hide. Clearly a bad idea as the tree was 2 inches thick!!( It only made her look nude as she hunched trying to protect her modesty). As the man walked past he frowned and Claudia went to remove Dianas bra she had dropped on the footpath. She attampted a very awkward ' hello' but the man ignored her. Clearly he thought he'd stormed into some porn shoot (probably entitled 'naturist swinging') when really it was totally inocent. The worst thing was 10 minutes later they met him down the road again. He passed just as they were walking up the drive to Claudia's house.( And ignored the girls like they were lepers) Diana questioned if she could ever show her face in Bixley again. How could she ever buy Linda Mcarney Sausages and look at them the same way?!
Friday 8 January 2010
Thursday 7 January 2010
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